After thirty-plus years as an atheist, I one day realized that I had, without realizing it, started to believe in God. The moment must have happened without my knowledge. What changed? God? Unlikely. No, something must have shifted within myself.
Today I had a similar experience. After a month of relentlessly bashing the iPad, I realized that somewhere along the way I opened the door to believing I might buy one, and I was now at the point where I HAVE to have it. What happened? Had my skeptic's questions been answered? Quite the contrary, I now have many more. What happened to my non-believer battle cries:
"I might want it, but I don't NEED it."
"It doesn't replace any device I already own."
"It's just an expensive toy."
My nay-sayer mantras turned on themselves, without my knowledge or permission. Now, in my convert state of mind, when I think about the iPad, I think:
"I don't need it, but I WANT it."
"It doesn't replace any devices, so I will have one more really cool device."
"It's just an expensive toy AND I LOVE TOYS."
Have I been sucked into Steve Job's famous "reality distortion field, the opiate of the tech masses?
Quite the opposite. For the last month, I had been willfully trying to distort my own reality to fit the narrative that I think I should fit into:
"I am a mature adult that buys technology devices based on need, functionality, and rational, cost/benefit analysis."
But somewhere along the way, I found acceptance of the REAL me. It's what everyone BUT me already knows:
"I'm a big kid who gets a kick out of new toys."
...and the iPad is going to be THE toy of 2010.
Have I changed my own belief system? I don't think so. I think I'm letting go of who I my brain wants me to be and embracing who I really am in my heart:
"Apple's core demo."
God, I love gadgets.