RICH FIXES TECHNOLOGY
RICH FIXES TV
When I buy products online, I don’t mind the shipping options, but I have a big problem with the receiving. If I’m buying a product on Amazon, where do I have it sent?
I want a secure place for my deliveries. A place where the package is always going to be accepted because there is always someone available to sign for my packages. A place far away from my co-workers, family and friends so I don’t have to be judged by my often silly purchases. A place available to me 24/7, so I can grab my goods when I’m available - late at night and weekends. And it all has to be for free.
You’ve decided to buy yourself an iPad, and now you have to decide which model to get. The iPad Mini, iPad 2, or the iPad 4?* Which iPad do you need? Okay, that’s a trick question. You don’t need any iPad. iPads do not do anything that you can’t already do with a laptop or smartphone. They just do many things better and more conveniently. The iPad is a toy. Now, let’s go toy shopping.
One of the most exciting things about buying the iPhone 5 was the ability – no, the freedom – to move from AT&T to Verizon. Switching from AT&T to Verizon has been conservatively described by others as being freed from the shackles of a windowless prison and feeling the sunshine of the Lord on one’s face. So my wife and I made the leap of faith by buying two Verizon iPhone 5s in October. Thanks to the Christmas gift of a iPad Mini with Verizon LTE, the transition is complete. With Verizon, I’m all in. Here’s the cry of a heretic: I want to go back.
So much precious TV time is being devoted to the upcoming Presidential elections. Why? I already know which guy I’m voting for. Let’s call him “My Guy.” But here’s the thing: On Election Day, in addition to voting for a President, there are going to be a lot of people I have to choose for other races on the same ballot. Congressional, State and local elections will slow me down as I try to get the hell out of my cramped and crowded polling place. I want to take the time to do my civic duty, but let’s face it, democracy needs a breath mint.
My wife Gen and I spent this summer indoors again, watching exciting new TV. Big Brother, Louie, The Newsroom, and Breaking Bad filled our nights. But our Breaking Bad was very different than everyone else’s Breaking Bad.
Gen and I had always talked about watching Breaking Bad, but had not previously pulled the trigger. At the urging of our friends, Gen and I fired up the Netflix Watch Instantly account on our TiVo, or as I call it, “the TV Time Machine”, and traveled back to 2008 to start Breaking Bad from the beginning.
I love stand-up comedy. I hate comedy clubs.
My wife and I had our very first date at a comedy show, and for many years, we were semi-regulars at a number of mainstream and alternative comedy rooms. This summer we resumed that old past time, returning to two of the bigger LA comedy clubs. We saw world-class lineups of comedians, each bringing their A game. Comics like Chris D’Elia, Tom Papa, Sebastian Maniscalco, and Dane Cook (yes, Dane Cook, haters!) had Gen and I doubled over in laughter and gasping for air. It reminded us that stand-up is so much more powerful when it’s live. But our recent pilgrimages into Hollywood also reminded us why we stopped going to see live comedy years ago. We dislike everything about comedy clubs except the performers. At both clubs, we had a lousy time having a great time.
This is going to be an eye-opening week: After years of eye problems, tomorrow is the first of two cataract surgeries. Right now, the lenses in each of my eyes are covered with a white frost, called a “cataract.” I don’t like that term - It makes me feel like a senior citizen. I prefer to imagine that I’m looking at the world through a light dusting of powdered sugar.
To restore my sight, an ophthalmologist will be removing the natural lenses in each of my eyes and implanting artificial replacements, called intraocular lenses. Sounded scary to me at first, but it turns out it’s very routine. I’m not worried about the surgeries. The procedures each only take about fifteen minutes. It’s like going to Jiffy Lube.
My phone continually vibrated throughout my last birthday. Each alert was from Facebook, each indicating another friend had posted a short note to my wall. I received 69 birthday messages that day, with 6 belateds on May 8th. The intent was sweet, but each one made me more annoyed than the last. For the first time, Facebook was ruining my birthday.
Listen up. To your phone.
How do you do that today? Probably the same way you did ten years ago. Apple's earbuds form the "White Y"As handset manufacturers continue to improve screen size and resolution, they have done nothing to innovate how we get the sound from the phones to our ears. It’s time for another revolution - one that everyone will hear.
Comedian Louis CK’s fifth stand-up special, Oh My God premiered on HBO last weekend. I highly recommend checking it out. Always funny, occasionally hilarious, Oh My God is a master class in comedy performance. Oh My God will mostly likely be the best stand-up special of 2013.
But watching this special really pissed me off.
Because most TV shows now end a little bit later than they are scheduled to conclude, every episode of TV recorded on my DVR becomes a cliffhanger. The recorded version of each sitcom abruptly finishes just moments before the actual conclusion of the show. This ongoing case of “premature evacuation” is a very unsatisfying way to watch TV.
I hear a lot of complaints about Saturday Night Live from friends who know I am a lifelong fan. “It’s not funny anymore.” “The sketches are soooo long.” I get it. I’ve been there. I’ve ranted and raved about how flawed and disappointing some episodes have been. I’ve posted my 5 Ways to Fix SNL. But there’s never been a simple way to fix such a complicated television program. Until now.
I just watched the promos for the upcoming fall TV shows. Many felt oddly familiar. Why? To find the answer, I looked back at two recent NBC shows, Bent and Best Friends Forever for the answer. I liked both of these short-lived series, but they both had the same, odd problem. Both shows felt old, like I had been watching them for years. I had been watching them for years – and by “them”, I mean the actors.
If you still watch "The Office", you’re probably annoyed with me already, just by the title. It sounds like I’m condoning adultery (I’m not) and trying to break up the fairy tale couple of Pam and Jim (I am) by suggesting he give in to the advances of Cathy, the new employee who has the hots for him. But odds are you do not still watch NBC's, “The Office.” And that’s the problem. “The Office” needs to be saved.
Dear Lost, I miss you. I loved you. I hate you. You've ruined TV. I thought we ended things so well in May. Real emotional closure. I even cried as we said goodbye. Doesn’t that show emotional growth? Now I’m seeing The Event on NBC. It’s a “mythology” bases series, just like you were. It was even marketed as “the next Lost.” Yes, it reminds me of you. That should be a good thing, but it’s not.